Award Gag Gifts
Welcome to the Center for Liberal Re-education (CLR), the premier liberal re-education center in the world.
As horrifying as it can be to see a loved one stricken with liberalism, there is some good news.
Liberalism is a treatable illness and complete re-education is the safest and most effective treatment.
The CLR is the "Tour de force" of re-education centers, with a staff whose expertise represents over
200 years of experience in providing treatment for liberalism. We know the devastating toll liberalism
can take on a family, which is why we have tried to make our admission process as stress free as possible.
You can expect confidential, caring treatment by qualified staff and doctors on our private campus.
The CLR is licensed in all fifty states (Yes, even California and New York) to administer political
re-education and permanent liberal ideology thought suppression. It is our goal to take any dead
weight bleeding heart and turn them into a productive member of our society. Liberalism is the
anchor on the ship of life, and we promise to set you free so that you can sail on to success.
Liberalism is a mental impairment which has substantial adverse effects on an individual's
cognitive (thought) or volitional (action) functions.
The decision to enter a re-education program is a tough and courageous one; unfortunately those words are not synonymous with liberals. Individuals can become so disabled by liberalism that they never recognize the need for re-education. It is at this point that concerned friends or family should consider involuntarily admitting them to one of our re-education centers. Liberalism left un-treated can cause harm to one's self, harm to others, and harm to others tax burden. Since the end is complete remission of liberalism, you will surely agree that it justifies the means.
Unfortunately most treatment centers, whether they drug addiction, eating disorders, alcoholism, or liberalism do not accept your health insurance. When considering the CLR, rest assured we accept all health insurance. We will even accept Medicaid and Medicare, sure we will only be reimbursed by the government for pennies on the dollar but that's not your concern.
- Because it is not uncommon for patients to experience "coming down" or "crashing" during the first days of treatment the staff at the CLR provides around the clock individual support to the patients as their minds are being purged of liberalism.
- The CLR organizes patients into groups; patient participation in these group re-education breakout sessions are designed to empower the cohesive strength of the masses and foster competition as patients compete against one another to achieve milestones.
- Patients will participate in organized liberal denunciation sessions in addition to daily reflection on the misinterpretations of their past. One of the most import stages of re-education is the confessions of one's liberal misdeeds of the past.
Unlike other re-education centers that offer 30 day programs, the CLR's re-education treatment program generally lasts 3 to 12 months. These other re-education centers accede to cure the patient from liberalism in a months' time. The truth is, however, that while a short term stay in a re-education center will help the patient get over the initial withdrawal symptoms of liberalism, it will do very little to rid the patient of liberalism and prepare them for life after liberalism. We are committed to take the time necessary to facilitate a complete and lasting re-education which will ensure that the patient doesn't experience an incommodious liberal relapse. Patients will undergo extensive testing to make certain that all liberal thoughts have been erased from their minds. It doesn't serve society to prematurely release an individual still experiencing liberalism back into the general public. Just imagine the damage that could be done during an election cycle if the patient were to experience a liberal relapse.
