Award Gag Gifts
The Obama Zombie Influenza or "OZ-1 Virus" is a contagious mental disorder caused by exposure to liberal/socialist doctrine. Recently, the OZ-1 virus has been as devastating to American minds as smallpox was to the Native American population. The OZ-1 Virus has created legions of the brain dead, infecting both young and old, man or woman, and plebian or celebrity. Every person is susceptible to the virus since the entire population experiences varying levels of exposure to this ideology due to the distribution of these pathogens by the mainstream media; however infection spreads rapidly through liberal breeding grounds such as college campuses and Northeastern cities. Direct contact does not necessarily cause infections, individuals that are well educated on the founding principles of America, fundamentals of the free market, and fiscal/behavioral responsibilities are easily able to fight off infection. Due to similar symptoms, the OZ-1 virus is often misdiagnosed as dementia or mental retardation during the early stages of an infection. Containment and treatment of this virus has become tricky since rapid culling of all infected or exposed individuals has been deemed to be an "unethical" first line of defense.
The Obama Zombie virus officially reached pandemic levels on November 4th, 2008(Election Day). This day will forever live in infamy as it confirmed that the Obama Zombies officially outnumbered the competent Americans. On this day 52.92% of the American public was diagnosed with the Obama Zombie virus. When the transmission results were made official the brain dead flooded the streets in many of our major cities. The zombie mob eventually overran our nation’s capital on January 20th, 2009 as they mindless awaited the inauguration of their zombie overlord. After years of inaction and apathy, America has woken up to find itself occupied by a horde of belligerent Obama Zombies. We must act now to prevent the further spread of this virus and reverse the current course of our nation as the Obama Zombies try to lead us to ruin.
- Tendency to ignore logic when formulating an opinion and completely devoid of common sense.
- An individual may be infected w/ the OZ-1 Virus if you observe him/her attempting to legally marry you to an individual of the same sex.
- When involved in an argument, the infected will tend to use sarcastic jokes instead of valid facts to make his/her point.
- You may notice the infected attempting to properly inflate the tires of your car in attempt to eliminate the need for additional oil exploration.
- Infected will verbally attack you for your excessive compensation while at the same time seeking to earn millions by writing a book or starring in a summer blockbuster.
- Relentless moaning of "Change" and "Hope" that is ultimately met with a blank stare when questioned about its meaning.
- May notice infected deducting money from your paycheck to redistribute to your lazy neighbor.
- Infected will be totally unaccountable for his/her own actions.
- Infected will feel entitled to your private property.
- Referring to political opponents as "dangerous right-wing extremists" while referring to terrorists that intend to kill thousands of innocent Americans as "individuals that seek to cause man-made disasters".
- Infected will act offended or insulted by your comments while ignoring hateful comments made by other Obama Zombies.
- Belief in the collective responsibility of society while discrediting the need for all members of society to have personal responsibility.
- Constitutional Confusion
- Mental paralysis
- Brain functions controlled by the broadcast media
- Memory disarrangement (Remembering the New Deal as being successful)
- Delusions that more government is the answer to all problems.
- Verbal regurgitation of tired party lines
- Hand securely attached to the wallet of another individual.
- Constant panicking over the threat of global warming.
